We had him loaded after a mere two hours trying, and he arrived home. In the school he was a pleasure, green as grass but willing and sensitive. Hacking out was another thing altogether, he had worked out that when on his hind legs he was very intimidating, and riders usually fell or got off. I had no option but to get him through it, or was that more a case of I was too stubborn to be scared or give in? After about 5 years the rearing stopped completely, he'd decided it just wasn't worth the effort. He was a bully at home, earning the nickname Dug the Thug, he was herd leader and made sure all and sundry knew that.

Over the next few years he could be stubborn at times, and simply amazing at others. We did one day events, BSJA show jumping, dressage, and showing classes. He had wins in everything. I used him in my lessons at the riding school, he was wonderful for teaching people to canter as when on the lunge he worked from my voice. He was always treated as the baby, as I had Dan to do the big stuff with, but he did his bit. He had that kind of arrogance that the special horses have. He was always too much horse for me though, one snowy day I changed his bit after he'd taken to running after his show jumps. He jumped, I felt the rein, he realised he couldn't run. I grinned, cocky and pleased, he put me straight on the floor with three fast bucks and stared at me. One all, he seemed to be saying. You never could make him do anything he objected to.

When I met Tony four years ago he took Dug to an indoor cross country event, only the second time he'd jumped him. They whooped ass and won, I guess I could see then I'd lost the ride! Duggan was a good show jumper, but his scope always got him into trouble when faced with combinations. He'd get himself in too deep and lose heart when he tried to get out cleanly but couldn't. I'd done a couple of local teamchases on him and he seemed to enjoy it, so it was easy to let him work his way up the levels.

Ironically, the Badsworth event that saw his demise was also the venue of his first open run. He was brave, bold, careful and confident, and a pleasure to follow. He was our team hero, and I was very proud of him. He steadily upped the pace, and over the next few years he led the Stunts to numerous placings and yearly qualification for the championships.

Our best season was in 2008 during the autumn. He was outstanding, he was smug, and he loved what he was doing. I have the pages from Horse and Hound that covered the teams' win at the Atherstone last year, they hang on our wall along with so many other photos. I am not naive enough to think he was the be all and end all of the Cunning Stunts, we have had some fantastic horses and riders who have joined us along the way, they all make up the team and I will always be thankful of their loyalty and support.

But please indulge me a little with my thought that he was one of the best around. Today we cannot think straight, nor see a future without him. Not only have we lost a good horse who could jump, but I have lost my long time friend. He could always be relied upon to give me a kiss. Sometimes, when he smelt the minty chewing gum or my jam on toast for breakfast he would try and force the wet smelly kisses on me, I like to think it was more than just his greed. Tony's loss is no easier. Four years of teamchasing together with total trust in each other, Dug made Tony look very good. Or maybe it was the other way round.

Duggan, I was honoured to have known, owned and ridden you. I forgive you for breaking my ribs, I forgive you for dumping me out hunting, I forgive you for showing us up when we believed you would be good at racing, I forgive you for making the mistake that cost you your life and me my biggest friend. I was with you when you went, and thanks to one very special person I have a small piece of you to keep with me.

You will never be replaced in our hearts, and I will never stop missing you. I guess we will stop crying one day.